The Five Core Values That Changed How I Make Every Decision
Why Values Matter More Than the “Right” Decision
For years, I thought the goal of decision-making was to find the “right” choice—the one with the best odds, the least risk, or the most approval from others.
But the endless calculations left me exhausted. I was overthinking jobs, relationships, parenting choices—even what to cook for dinner.
The turning point came when I stopped chasing perfect answers and started asking a better question: Does this align with my values?
Values became my compass. Instead of obsessing over outcomes, I measured my decisions against what matters most to me. Suddenly, the weight lifted. Clarity replaced chaos.
That’s the power of values-based decision-making—and it’s why this practice is at the core of DecideWell.
What Is Values-Based Decision-Making?
Values-based decision-making means filtering every choice through your most important principles. Rather than bending yourself to circumstances or expectations, you use values as a lens.
This approach works because:
- Values are stable. While circumstances change, values stay consistent.
- Values cut through noise. They silence the algorithms, opinions, and outside pressure.
- Values create alignment. When choices match your principles, you feel peace, even when the outcome is uncertain.
Think of values as your decision compass. When you feel stuck, they point you toward alignment, not perfection.
My Five Core Values (My Internal Compass)
These are the quiet, internal drivers—the ones I live by daily. When I honor them, I feel grounded. When I violate them, I feel it in my body.
1. Devotion to Family
I want my life built on love, not obligation. I protect emotional safety—mine and my child’s—above all else. This value guides custody decisions, time allocation, and how I handle conflict.
2. Health as Power
When I sleep well, eat whole foods, and move my body, I’m unstoppable. When I neglect health, everything suffers. Prioritizing wellness isn’t a luxury, it’s the foundation of effectiveness.
3. Growth Through Curiosity
I thrive on learning and building. Curiosity fuels my writing, business ventures, and even parenting. When I stop growing, I feel trapped.
4. Integrity
I can’t fake what I believe. I’d rather lose an opportunity than compromise who I am. Integrity keeps me honest in work, relationships, and leadership.
5. Financial Security
I don’t chase luxury. I chase freedom. Options. Breathing room. Money, to me, isn’t status—it’s safety and the ability to choose.
My Five Core External Values (What I Build For)
These are the values I share publicly. They show up in DecideWell, my writing, and every project I create.
1. Freedom
I won’t play by rules designed to keep people small. I create systems that expand choice—for me and others.
2. Integrity
This shows up here again, because it’s not optional. I don’t just talk about truth—I live it.
3. Agency
People are powerful. They just need tools that clarify, not control. That’s why DecideWell exists.
4. Impact
If I build something, it must matter. Clever doesn’t cut it. Substance is the standard.
5. Truth
I call things as they are—whether it’s toxic co-parenting, performative leadership, or the myths women are sold about success.
How These Values Changed My Life
Once I named and owned my values, every area of life shifted.
- Parenting: I no longer ask “What will others think?” I ask “Does this protect William’s safety and joy?”
- Career: I stopped clinging to roles that misaligned with integrity or growth. That’s what led me to build DecideWell.
- Relationships: Values became the filter for who stays in my life—and who doesn’t.
- Daily choices: Even small things, like how I eat or spend, align with my commitment to health and security.
It’s not about perfect answers. It’s about consistent alignment.
How to Define Your Own Core Values
If you want to try this yourself, here’s a simple process:
- Reflect on past pain. What decisions left you feeling resentful or hollow? What value did they violate?
- Notice your energy. When do you feel most alive, peaceful, or proud? Those moments reveal your true values.
- Cut the noise. Forget “resume values” or what sounds impressive. Pick the ones that feel non-negotiable.
- Keep it simple. Start with 3–5 values. Too many, and you’ll dilute the power.
- Test them. Next time you’re stuck, ask: Which option honors my values more?
Why Values Protect Against Overthinking
Overthinking thrives on uncertainty. Values shrink the gray area.
- Instead of: “What’s the safest option?”
- You ask: “What aligns with my integrity?”
- Instead of: “What will make everyone happy?”
- You ask: “What protects my family’s emotional safety?”
This doesn’t guarantee painless outcomes. But it guarantees peace with your choices—because you know you acted from alignment, not fear.
Why This Matters for DecideWell
DecideWell is more than a tool. It’s a values-driven framework that helps you:
- Identify what matters most.
- Filter noise, pressure, and fear.
- Build confidence in your ability to choose.
Your goals don’t need perfection. They need alignment. That’s what makes values-based decision-making the foundation of freedom.
Final Thought
Values didn’t just help me decide better, they helped me live better.
If you’re ready to name your values, try this: write down three to five you’re willing to fight for. Then make your next decision with them in mind.
Or try the DecideWell app and test different values against your decisions to see what outcomes most closely align.
Clarity builds over time. And it compounds into a life you actually want.